


guiding light.

by grouplovehoodie



Series: down with me. [1]
Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Friendship, Homesickness, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Tour Bus, Touring, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 21:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19217467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grouplovehoodie/pseuds/grouplovehoodie
Summary: Noel misses Los Angeles.





	guiding light.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a little vent thing. completely ooc but who gives a shit? not me, that's who. 
> 
> i meant to make this more romantic than it was, but maybe i'll write a follow up on touch starved noel being in love with cody. we'll see!
> 
> if you're cody and/or noel and you even THINK about looking at this shit, i will kill you.

Noel misses Los Angeles.

Sure, the Midwest is nice, but it's nothing like the busy city that captivates his attention every waking hour. He complains about it a lot but he figures that comes with any place that a person calls home. He could have a million qualms about the place but still never want to leave, that's just how it works. The thing about the Midwest is that the nightlife ends early most nights; these people, especially the ones in rural Kansas, have to get up early the next day and roll out to work for their 9-to-5. They're not freelancers, or music producers, or wannabe actors. They're normal people, or the closest thing to normal Noel can process. 

The bus rolled to a stop outside of an almost run-down gas station fifteen minutes ago; it's almost two AM which means it's time for the driver's smoke break, everyone to take a piss, and to grab enough snacks to sate them until later in the day when they can grab what could be considered brunch before rolling into the venue to set up for the show. It's cold, Noel's breath catches in the frosty wind that cuts straight through his NorthFace jacket and dissipates before his very eyes as he stares at the few stars he can make out in the sky. There aren't visible stars in Los Angeles, there's too much smog and too much light. Here, between stretches of streetlights and acres of land, there's plenty to view. He doesn't like it very much; the novelty had long worn off early into tour. 

At home, at least he can pretend like the Earth is the only place in the galaxy, that they're the only people that exist within this sphere without getting too much into his head. Sure, on the podcast or on stage or in front of a camera it's easy to joke about those kinds of things, to laugh and prod Cody about what would happen if an alien came to Earth and jizzed on both of them or they got abducted but when he's alone, it makes him feel smaller than ever. Noel likes to think that, even for being a short guy, he's got a presence--that he can hold his own with ease. It's not entirely the truth, but it's easier to believe when you think about it being against seven billion people instead of a trillion different creatures.

"Dude, it's fucking freezing out here," It's a familiar voice that cuts through the cold, that spreads warmth across Noel's chest easily as the door to the bus slams shut and Cody meanders over Noel's way. He's got on a pair of tattered tartan pajama bottoms--ones that Noel most definitely has poked fun at before, but Cody insists they're warm and comfortable--and a large winter coat bundled around his torso. Living in Los Angeles for the past couple of years has made Cody a self-proclaimed pussy to the cold. Noel doesn't blame him--their tour manager had told them that this has been the coldest Midwest winter in years, practically driving into a polar vortex, and even Noel can't give Cody grief about his Canadian roots. 

Mostly because it's easier to keep his mouth shut than to let the cold seep into his open mouth. 

"Yeah," Noel agrees in a quiet hum, eyes dragging away from the sky to meet Cody's backlit figure. He's already got bedhead from laying in his bunk, but Noel knows he hasn't been sleeping. Probably texting Kelsey or making makeshift beats on his laptop, tying up loose ends for what he thinks is 'something shitty'. For a beginner, he impresses Noel with everything he makes but it's not like he can just tell him that. "Why are you out here?" 

"To ask you the same question," Cody's breath puffs into the air in a steady breeze, dancing around Noel's face like smoke as it raises into the air. "You've been out here for almost half an hour, dude, we're leaving soon and I'm kind of afraid you're going to get hypothermia in the middle of tour." It's not even the middle yet, and Noel is as excited about it as he is exhausted. It doesn't look to be stopping any time soon either, not with the request of more dates stacking up and more people reaching out--festivals and interviews and everyone. He likes to keep busy but it'd be nice to catch his breath every once in awhile. 

"'m not getting hypothermia, I was about to come back in." He gestures toward the bus and Cody studies his expression for a long moment before pursing his lips a bit. His glasses are fogged up at the bottom corners from the stark contrast of his body heat and the cool air. Noel swallows thickly as he studies the way that his glasses settle on the bridge of his nose and the way his hair sticks up every-which-way around his head and the way that his lips look pretty, pursed and pink. 

"Are you okay, dude?" Cody asks after a beat of silence, tucking his hands into the pockets of his coat. They're clenched into fists just as Noel's are, and he wants to say 'Yeah, sure,' but they're far enough into their friendship that Noel knows Cody won't believe him for a second. 

He swallows around the lump in his throat as he averts his eyes, staring at the blinking sign of the 24-hour gas station. Behind the dirty, flyer-covered glass door sits a nice cashier who is a little too high and speaks a little too much. She almost forgot to charge Noel for the extra Redbull he'd grabbed for Cody, but since he's a nice man, he made sure she caught it. Noel's a good guy, right? "I'm just a little anxious," He shrugs, "Nothing new." 

A look of concern crosses Cody's features, "What's going on, man?" Noel's thankful for how much Cody cares--most of his other male friends would brush it aside, tell him that he needs to learn to get over it or that he needs to 'man up', but since Cody began dealing with his own bout of anxiety, he's become more understanding and Noel's grateful for that. "Seriously, tell me."

Noel's gut response is 'It's nothing', and it does feel like it's nothing, just homesickness that's manifested itself into something more. "I just--I miss being home, dude." Noel laughs a little, lifeless more than anything, and Cody frowns. 

"Do you miss Aleena? She's flying out soon, right?"

Noel nods a confirmation before he shrugs. "It's not just her, though. I miss Ollie, and I miss my apartment--dude, I miss sleeping in a real bed." Cody laughs a little bit as he nods before he urges Noel on to speak, "I just--I don't know. I miss L.A., I know we complain about traffic and about our shitty studio and about how long it takes to get literally everywhere, but it's just... It's our home, dude."

Cody nods as if he understands and Noel's not really sure that he does, but he appreciates the sentiment. "Only a couple of weeks, man, and then we're back."

"For a bit, yeah," Noel snorts and tucks his chin into his jacket a bit as he stares at Cody, "I just--I don't know if I'm cut out for this life, you know?"

Noel doesn't know when Cody gets closer, when Cody's arms are wrapped around his shoulders and he's being pulled against his friend's body but he revels in the touch. He didn't realize how badly he needed it, how badly he needed someone--especially Cody--to ground him back to reality. Even if it's at two in the morning in the middle of God-knows, USA. He tucks his head into the crook of Cody's neck the best he can as he listens as Cody rambles on about their experience, "You can totally do this, man. It's normal to get homesick, hell, I am too, but just know that we'll be done soon enough and you'll be back to Ollie and Aleena and your streaming rig and you'll be fine." Cody's breath is warm against the side of Noel's head, as if his mouth is placed against the shell of Noel's ear. 

"You're a good friend, Ko," Noel says after a beat of silence and he can feel Cody smile without even seeing it, can feel the way that the warmth radiates off Cody like he's Noel's personal space heater. 

"The best one you'll ever have!" Cody laughs as he pats Noel on the back once, twice before he's letting go and gesturing toward the bus. "Now, c'mon, dude, I'm freezing my nuts off and I think the only reason the bus hasn't left yet is because all of the talent is outside of it." 

Noel laughs a bit and nods, kicking bits of snow off of the ground before he watches as Cody disappears back into the bus with one last smile, a lingering look before he's gone. Noel lets out a slow breath and tries to quell the warm that spreads through his body, trying to force himself to acknowledge the fact that it's only from Cody's reassuring words and not Cody himself. His fingers shake as he reaches out for the handle of the bus, kicking his shoes off by the small couch before he slumps down into it. 

Noel misses Los Angeles, but maybe touring with Cody isn't half bad. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm [on tumblr](http://somegshit.tumblr.com)


End file.
